The theory says that “when everybody grows, there isn’t less of anybody; there’s more of—and for—everybody” (Jamesin, 1994, p. 3). Jamesin says it’s like taking one candle and lighting another: there’s not less light because you’ve given some away—there’s more.

Why then, when someone puts themselves out there, do we often try to dampen their spirit? Jamesin calls it “nibbling.”
 
Sometimes we do it to ourselves. Sometimes it’s by others ignoring our ideas and their silence. Sometimes it’s what they say.
 
You ask too many questions.
 You always give your ideas first.
You’re too direct.
You’re too nice.
You’re too concerned about people.
You work too hard.
You use too many big words.
You’re too frank.
You’re too friendly
You’re too helpful.
You’re too emotional.
You’re too sensitive.
You’re too serious.
We’ve always done it this way.
This is not really your field, is it?
What do you really know about it?
(Jamesin, pp. 10-12)
 
I first experienced “nibblers” as a high school junior in my first paying job off the farm. “You’re working too hard. You’re making us look bad.”
 
In one form or another, I’ll bet you’ve heard it too.
 
Yet, if I grow, we grow. If you grow, we grow. Talents, skills, ideas, knowledge, power, energy, enthusiasm: when these are shared, the sharer is not diminished, and our collective capacity grows. Watch out, though. The “nibblers” are coming. Successful leaders find a way to overcome the “nibblers.”
 
How do you keep the “nibblers” at bay as you L.E.A.D.?